How to be punk rock: For beginners
by Cassie Ozog
A primer to becoming a punk-rock badass. Seriously.
In the past couple of years, punk has become a genre of music that has blown up all over popular music mediums. As great as this is for the musicians themselves, those of us that are “followers” of this type of music should first be aware of a few rules that are necessary to follow in order to be a proper punk rocker.
1. The first step to help people to associate you with being a punk is your style of dress. This would include the obvious: studded belts, patches, mohawks, etc. However, whomever told you that being punk rock was about DIY (doing it yourself) was simply in denial that similarly cool clothes can be purchased at any popular store. Mass-produced ripped shirts, fishnets, t-shirts with clever “punkish” statements, etc. can be purchased at your local Le Chateau for a thick chunk of money easily. Remember, being punk does not come cheap. It’s all about spending money. Don’t bother with cheap Dickies at Zellers, when you can easily pay for already-cropped pants at any other store for at least $70. If you’re gonna be punk, you have to make the commitment. It’s all about looking good. Besides, by keeping up with popular stores and what clothes are on their racks, you’ll know when it’s cool to be punk, and when it isn’t. And really, that’s the most important part.
2. When it comes to concert etiquette, there aren’t very many rules as to how you should act, but be aware of dancers! These rude people seem to think it’s appropriate to dance during concerts and act like they like the music. However, real punk rockers know that you should stand there and make fun of the dancers. It is not unusual, but only in necessary circumstances, to push, trip or threaten said dancers to stop them from running into you. Come on, we all know the real reason to go to concerts is to stand around and act bored. Some dancers will try to mask that they are dancers by standing in one place and boppin’, but even then, they should be threatened. No one stands at the front of stage and dances. Sha, they should know that by now!
3. Buy a trucker hat. Don’t ask questions, just do it.
4. Finally, when it comes to music, there are a lot of punk bands out there. But there’s no need to spend hours in an independent music store trying to select a good CD. Turn on Much Music, or listen to the radio. They’ll keep you up-to-date on the coolest punk bands that are the most popular to listen to. Feel free to skip local bands’ concerts; don’t bother to support good, touring punk bands that are trying to make it, everyone knows that if they were really good, they’d already be opening for Avril Lavigne by now, duh.
In closing, remember that the most important thing about being punk rock is being cool, popular and on top of what’s what and who’s who. It’s tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.