What the hell is this guy talking about?
by Nathan Lane
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, your Students’ Union proudly presents the seventh installment of URSU SPEAKS featuring the sequel from the mildly witty and slightly talented vice president of projects and development Nathan Lane.
Fresh from his last article Lane offers a cornucopia of pertinent information to the student body of the University of Regina.
His description of the free pancake breakfast that URSU will be holding from 8:30 a.m. until 11:00 a.m. on Friday October 31 brought me back to time and place when I used to eat pancakes out on the porch with my grandpappy back in Wadena.
His subtle foreshadowing of the United Way fundraisers that will be put on in the University Centre by various student societies during the week of November 3-7 was reminiscent of the master works of Tarantino and Hitchcock.
The Yorkton Herald calls Lane’s explanation of the Frontlyne and Talisman show to be held at The Lazy Owl on November 6 “an action packed thrill ride that will keep hip hop and football fans on the edge of their seats the entire time.”
While, the Biggar Tribune writes “Not since the video release of the film Dude Where’s My Car? has anything captured the true essence of the meaning of life as Lane’s vivid depiction of the tables that URSU will have set up in the Riddell Centre next week to discuss the provincial election does.”
Ebert, Roeper and Fonzie not only gave Lane’s article two thumbs way up but also emphatically gave it a vocal “ayyy.”
Furthermore, the National Enquirer reports that Internet chat rooms have already begun forming in order to share excerpts from Lane’s next article which is rumoured to be based upon the live music shows at The Lazy Owl on November 13 and November 27 featuring The Carnations and Despitado.
Don’t be the only one of your friends who doesn’t read Lane’s article and doesn’t know what’s going on with your Students’ Union.
For those of you actually made it to this point in this article I sincerely apologize. What started out to be a deliberate attempt at being humorous has quickly turned into a clear example of why comedy should be left to the devises of professionals. However, in case amidst the stench of bad humour you failed to grasp the underlying theme of this article, and you likely did, as I at times failed to grasp it myself, please come out and check out the events that URSU will be putting on.You can find these events listed above if you look carefully. I mean, really, do you have an option? If you don’t come out and get involved with your Students’ Union then people like me end up making all the decisions. And after reading this article do you really think that is such a good idea? I didn’t think so!
See you at the events,
Nathan Lane is the VP of Projects and Developments